late night insomnia rants...
"Until healing and forgiveness take place, we hold our own soul hostage. To heal, we must dance the opposites, forgive and be forgiven. To heal, we must relive the experiences in our emotions and transform the trauma make light of the dark. We then heal ourselves by embracing the pain body within us."
Have you ever gone through a traumatic experience that caused you to change yourself completely? Not necessarily a serious tragedy but something that affected you in such a way that you found yourself altering your life because of it. Whether it is family related issues, finances, a break-up, loss of your job..etc, something that made you feel like you were at the lowest of the low when you were going through it. I experienced something awhile ago that caused me to feel like I was at a complete standstill, as if I would never be able to get rid of the horrid feeling it caused me. It sounds extremely dramatic but I felt like my world came crashing down on me & no matter what I did..nothing could stop it. Months later I began to see a change in myself, positive ones of course..there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like these experiences that we consider to be so "traumatic" actually help us grow, like we are supposed to go through these things in order to become the person we are meant to be. The whole "everything happens for a reason" & "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is such a cliche but its entirely true! You learn from your mistakes & you learn from other peoples mistakes, what you want & don't want gets put into perspective. I mean that in every aspect of life..These days I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off my chest & I'm feeling so many positive vibes from within. I kept thinking that if I surrounded myself with positive people, in return my negativity would come to a halt. Which wasn't the case at all, I learned that your surrounding to play an important factor but YOU have to make a change within yourself in order to see results. I'm beginning to understand & know what I want out of my career, current job, friends, family & my relationship. My attitude & outlook has changed for the better & even my passions & hobbies have changed a bit, I am a complete sports lover now..which definitely came out of left field. Don't get me wrong, I'm still the same ol' me & still have so much to learn from life but I've experienced a few minor tweaks & improvements lol.. The whole point my rambling is basically to say...you have to go through the bad in order to appreciate the good in life. Try not to waste your energy on issues that cause negativity, don't ever feel like it's the end of the world no matter what it pertains too.
"I am thankful for my past because it has pushed me to reach a higher level of consciousness and a deeper awareness of who I am."
On another note..have you ever found yourself attracted to someones "flaws"? When I really like someone, I always find the little things that someone considers a physical imperfection to be the most adorable thing ever! I'm super observant & people tell me I like/dislike the weirdest things about the opposite sex. I feel like the flaws are the best part, it's what makes you stand out from the crowd. I had a convo tonight that reminded me of someones "flaws", I hope someday someone truly falls in love with all the things that I consider to be imperfections.
it's not 3:12am and time to TRY and get some shut eye. Gnite all ;)